BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
