Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
