he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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