His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
