dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
