New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
