were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
