It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
