In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
