people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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