Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
birth control should be required to get into college
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
