i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
