i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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