mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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