Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
