I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
