I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
