Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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