You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
