we have officially lost it.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize