I want to walk on stilts...naked
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
