There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
