I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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