Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
