you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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