So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
