Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
