So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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