He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have aggressive nipples.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
