just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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