I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
