Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
