sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
