Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
