Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
