She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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