Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
