That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
