i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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