Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
