I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
