Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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