Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
