if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
