Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
