Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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