So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
