the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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