sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
