tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
